Still A Virgin (And Proud of It)

Last night I almost choked while watching news on TV3 when I heard one of the Deputy Ministers confessed that according to a survey done recently, teenage girls in Malaysia are not ashamed anymore when they lose their virginity through sexual intercourse before marriage.

Astaghfirullahal 'azeem. I thought we wanted to be a developed country in our own mould by 2020 but look at what's happening now? I fear the retribution from Allah SWT due to our carelessness in shaping up the country's young generations' perspectives and values in life.

It seems that we are fast becoming just like the USA, where promiscuity is a way of life and rampant. Allah has said that doomsday won't happen until zina is rampant in society. It never occurred to me that this thing would happen in my own country during my life time!!! May be this is the side effects of globalization... Our teenagers tend to copy blindly whatever that comes from the west thinking that everything that comes from them is great.

Years ago, when I was studying in the USA, I had a friend by the of name of Betty Shannon. Her father is an American working in Saudi Arabia. Her mother is a Filipino. So, even though she was raised in the USA, she was brought up with eastern values. She looked like the next door American girl; tall, beautiful with model-like figure, and quite loaded. She commuted everyday from Paw Paw to Kalamazoo, Michigan in a Camarro. The only difference that I noticed about her was, her values. She didn't smoke, didn't drink and the female friends that she chose to be closed to were mostly people from the East; for example Malaysians like me, Iranians, Cambodians etc.

One day, while I was waiting for my Spanish class and she was waiting for her French class, she confessed to me that she was still a virgin. I replied: "So what? I'm a virgin too!!" She made gestures to make sure that I lowered down my voice. She explained that according to the Americans' teenagers' values (at that time), to be a virgin was a shame. It's as if nobody wants you. In Malay, I guess I should say sort of "tak laku".

Another incident that I will never forget was when I was hospitalised in the Western Michigan University's Medical Center due to diarrhoea. I had followed my seniors to an orchard for apple and plum picking. Poor me. It must have been the influence of the tv. I simply rubbed the fruits on my garments before consuming them; just like the cowboys did on the American shows that I had been watching while growing up.... and I guessed that caused me the diarrhoea! Dr Novak and another female doctor hovered over me because before I was admitted to the medical center, there were diarrhoea cases too and one of the students died. So I guess they had to be thorough in their investigation.

What was memorable over the incident was, Dr Novak asked me how many times I have sex per week which I casually replied: "Oh! I'm still not married yet!", to which I noticed that she exchanged surprised glances with the other female doctor. They were not expecting that kind of answer, I guess. Only then did I realize that the eastern values were different (I have to use the past tense mode because I think our society is fast changing and we are now almost just like them, sadly speaking) when compared to theirs, but I guessed they also understood that my answer was no, not even once...

Later on in my Spanish class, I learnt that my classmates who were American teenagers were proud to announce that they were sleeping with so and so, going out with so and so, doing all the things that's a no-no in the eastern culture, things which Allah actually forbade us. I'm glad during my years in the USA, I was like a fish swimming in the sea. My surroundings were 'salty', but luckily (alhamdulillah!) the fish was not affected.

So, to all Malaysian girls, protect and guard your virginity and chastity. Everything can wait until you are lawfully and legally married to your husband. If he truly loves you, he too has to wait and guard his virginity until he's lawfully wedded to you. That, is more favorable in the sight of Allah.